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The Role of Love in the Life of a TBI Victim by Charles Watson


Posted on February 1, 2020

Surviving the accident is just the beginning of the menacing journey for a TBI victim. Coping up with the personal physical and mental barriers are just one aspect of their recovery. The misbalance and disturbance in personal relationships is another perspective that third parties have not seen or felt. Physiotherapy and medical checkups are not the only requirements of a TBI recovering patient. It demands perseverance, love and affection from the victim’s close relatives. Although many couples and family members emerge successfully from this tiring phase, some are lost in the way. Not all cases end as positively as others and can put a lot of stress on the relations.

Why is there a need? 

As hard as it is for the victim, it is equally, if not more, demanding for the victim’s partner and often keeping your calm and cool doesn’t sound so easy anymore. However, it may be hard, not impossible. A great part is played by the intimacy, level of trust, and the affection the couples have shared. The emotional and moral support work hand in hand with the regular checkups and medical treatments for an effective satisfactory recovery. So here is a brief guide for a couple targeted by TBI so that they can prepare themselves for all that they have faced and might face.

The Changes: Responsibilities

The first most prominent change is the responsibilities. It is obvious that the TBI victim, if severely injured, will have to give up a lot of household chores and various responsibilities that fell in his/her department. For example, if handling domestic finance and expenses is the wife’s job, due to her condition, the husband may have to take it up. This simple situation alone raises a number of inconveniences. 

Firstly, the sudden switch of roles comes unannounced and leaves you staggering to handle all the burden yourself. The feeling is mutual in both partners – where one partner gains uninvited responsibilities; the other is left feeling like a liability, most times unintentionally. Secondly, the most prevailing consequence is uncontrollable frustration and often a sense of misunderstanding and loneliness. 

The worst part about this is no matter how much either of the partners try to ignore; the feeling is inevitable because it’s more long-term than overwhelming. It’s no surprise because when one partner is overburdened with not only his and his partner’s responsibility but also the new responsibilities to care for the patient, time management an added inconvenience. On the other hand, the patient has a lot of time on his hands. This leads to an unsaid clash of expectations.

How must the hurdles be overcome? 

The secret to overcoming this dilemma requires not only a conceptual idea of dealing with stress and anxiety but an impressive amount of maturity, trust, and sensibility. Being considerate and understanding of each other is the basis of a healthy relationship during a tragedy such as TBI. Try to understand that both partners are going through stuff that is difficult to handle in their own way. Be empathetic and take notice of all the new duties both partners are fulfilling. 

Use words to convey. Communicate with your partner. This is the best way to clear any misunderstandings and unsaid expectations. Thank your partner each day, not because you must but because you feel that they deserve it. This will lead to a deeply set respect for each other and their important roles in each other’s lives. Take a break if you must, but don’t break under stress. Both partners are entitled to enjoy a break from all they’re struggling with.